


that should be me

by simonsantiago



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Suits AU, did i mention suits au, raphael and simon are lawyers, suitsssssssss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:30:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7008880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonsantiago/pseuds/simonsantiago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raphael and Simon fight to keep Simon out of prison. </p><p>(a suits s5 finale au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	that should be me

**Author's Note:**

> suits is one of my favourite shows ever and i just watched the finale.  
> it killed me and so of course i thought about raphael and simon being in this situation and this fic happened.
> 
> for those of you who watch suits but haven't seen the finale or haven't made it to season 5 yet; don’t read this. there are spoilers everywhere 
> 
> for those of you who don’t know anything about suits;  
> harvey, a hotshot lawyer hires mike, who was expelled from college.  
> mike is basically a fraud with no degree and has everyone fooled.  
> and everything goes to shit in season 5, especially the finale.  
> mike gets ratted out and gibbs, the prosecutor (i think she’s the prosecutor lmao) does everything in her power to put mike behind bars.  
> there are many other characters but we don’t have to worry about them that much.
> 
> also harvey and mike are hella gay for each other
> 
> harvey specter (managing/named partner) = raphael  
> mike ross = simon  
> donna paulson (harvey’s secretary) = lily  
> jessica pearson (managing/named partner) = isabelle  
> rachel zane (mike’s fiancee but in this case, it will be his best friend) = clary  
> louis litt = jace

Simon stood in front of the prosecutor’s door and took a deep breath.

He skipped out on court and for a good reason. He was set on this, he was going to do this. He was going to plead guilty. He had no other choice. He had promised Clary he would wait for the verdict from the jury but he couldn’t do that. If he was found guilty, they could go after the whole firm, after Raphael and Lily and Isabelle and everyone else who had a hand in what he’d done.

He couldn’t allow himself to do that, especially to Raphael.

Raphael had given him a second chance at life, a second chance to become something and make something of himself. Raphael gave him life.

He wasn’t going to take Raphael’s away.

He put his hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it.

“I’m ready to take your deal.” He said once he walked in and closed the door behind him.

Gibbs gestured to the chair in front of her. Simon sat down. She went through her paperwork and pulled out some papers, putting them in front of Simon.

“You go to jail for two years, I don’t go after your little friends and once it’s done you don’t cry about it.” Gibbs explained.

“One stipulation.” Simon said, his eyes strained on the carpet.

“I am not reducing your sentence by one second.”

“That’s not it. I want it written in that once we sign, you can’t renegotiate with Raphael.”

Gibbs leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re afraid I’ll try to use this to make him take the bullet for you.”

Simon leaned back as well. “I’m not afraid of you trying to do that because I know you will. So, put it in or we go to verdict.”

Once Simon stepped out of Gibbs’ office, he saw Raphael running down the hall towards him. They looked at each other for a very long time before Raphael spoke.

“What did you do?” Raphael demanded.

“I did what I had to do.” Simon answered. “I pled guilty.”

Raphael stared at him, the colour draining from his face. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Raphael,” Simon said, stepping closer to him. “It was my crime and it was my decision to make. I made it, it’s done. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Nothing’s done yet because the judge hasn't ratified anything.” He started to walked away from Simon in anger.

“Raphael, stop.”

He turned around. “No, Simon, you listen to me. If you think I’m going to let you ruin your future, you’re out of your goddamn fucking mind.”

This time Simon let him walk away as he watched, his stomach lurching painfully.

“What did you do?” A voice asked from behind him.

Simon turned around. Clary was looking at him, the tears ready to spill.

“What did you do?” She asked again.

“I took the deal.” He said. “I’m going to prison for two years.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No, Simon, no.”

“Clary, listen to me—”

“No. I begged you, Simon. I _begged_ you to wait for the verdict. I told you to have some faith in yourself.”

“It’s done, Clary. I made my decision.”

Clary scoffed and turned away, walking down the hall and turning the corner. 

* * *

Raphael heard Gibbs through the door, talking about making a plea deal with Simon. He shoved his way through the doors.

“I’m sorry too, your honour.” Raphael said, storming into the courtroom. “But they haven’t finalized shit.”

“Excuse me?” The judge asked. “What did you just say in my courtroom?”

“You heard what I said.”

The judge stood up. “My chambers. Now.”

Raphael and Gibbs followed her to her chambers.

“We made a deal and Simon Lewis signed it.” Gibbs said, showing both of them the papers.

“Your honour, I don’t give a shit about that deal because she took advantage of him. She coerced my client and you have the power to stop it.”

“Enough with the language, Mr. Santiago.” The judge warned him.

“It wasn’t coercion.” Gibbs said, staring Raphael in the eyes. “It was negotiated with by a competent attorney.”

“My client is not a competent attorney.” Raphael said to the judge. “He pled guilty to fraud.”

“Would you like to cut a different deal with me?” Gibbs asked.

“You can’t do that because you already signed your rights to that away.” Simon said from behind them.

Raphael turned around. “Goddamnit, Simon, don’t do this. Wait for the verdict.”

“Don’t give me that. You weren’t rushing over to her office so you could tell her that the jury reached a verdict. You were rushing over there because you wanted to take the bullet but I beat you to it. I told you it’s done, Raphael, it’s done.” His voice got quieter and quieter by the time he reached the last word.

“Are you absolutely sure, Mr. Lewis?” The judge asked.

Simon looked at her. “I am, your honour.”

“Mr. Lewis, you have 72 hours to report to Mahanoy State Correctional Institution.” The judge told him.

Simon nodded and looked at Raphael who was already looking back at him. There was still no colour to Raphael’s features but his eyes were blazing with anger and disappointment. Simon looked like he wanted to say something but Raphael didn’t wait for him. He stormed out of the judge’s chambers and got into his car, immediately driving to Lightwood Santiago. Lily was already back at the firm, waiting for him.

“I’m so sorry, Raphael.” She said.

“I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to get me the name of the foreman.”

She looked at him. “Raphael, you can’t get a mistrial now. It’s too late.”

“I don’t need legal advice, Lily. I need the name and the address of that foreman.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Lily said, shaking her head.

“It’s not breaking the law or anything. I just want to know what the verdict was.”

A couple of minutes later, Lily handed him a piece of paper with his name and address. Raphael left the firm and went to find the foreman. He walked into the garage and when he asked who went by that name, a man stepped forward.

“I need a favour.” Raphael said. “I want to know what that verdict was going to be.”

“What difference does it make now?”

"For me, it makes all the difference in the world.”

The man looked at him for a few seconds before nodding. “Everyone in that courtroom knew that kid didn’t go to law school. We all knew he was a fraud.”

Raphael sighed. “It was guilty.”

“That’s not what I said. There were 12 angry people in there. I was the one who made them stop and think. I was the one who made them do the right thing.”

“And what’s the right thing?”

“I wasn’t going to sit there and watch them ruin our justice system.” The man said.

Raphael swallowed. “Say it.”

“Not guilty.”

He started at the man, his heart about to burst out of his chest, his hands shaking slightly, and his head reeling.

Simon threw his life away for nothing.

It was all for _nothing_.

He wasn’t going to see Simon for two years. He wasn't going to be able to talk to Simon for two years. He was going to miss Simon for two whole fucking years.

The man was still talking but it was all a blur, everything was white noise. Raphael couldn’t stop thinking about Simon throwing his life away. He couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen when Simon goes to prison.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Once he composed himself many, many minutes later, and didn’t feel like he was being suffocated he made his way back to the firm, his body still numb.

Simon was waiting for him

“I need to talk to you.” Simon said as soon as Raphael walked into his office.

“Simon, not now.”

He stood up from the couch. “Raphael, I need to know if you think I made the right decision.”

Raphael stopped in his tracks and looked at him. “Simon…”

“No, listen, I know you’re pissed but I need to know I made the right call.”

“You didn’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I went to see the foreman and he…he—” He stopped, clenching his fists and staring at Simon.

He couldn’t say it.

Simon looked at him. “He what, Raphael?”

Raphael sighed. “He told me the verdict was…guilty.”

“What?”

“The idea of you going to prison was killing me and I couldn’t let it go.” Raphael said. “I needed to know what the verdict was.”

“But now you can let it go?”

“I still wish you would have let me take the fall for you but yeah, now I can.”

Simon let out a breath and ran a hand over his face. “At least it’s two years and not five.”

“Go home, Simon.” Raphael said, almost too quietly.

“Will you come?”

“I don’t know.”

He walked out of Raphael’s office as Lily walked in.

“You alright?” She asked.

“I’m fine.” He lied.

“What can I do for you.”

“You can find everything we have on Simon’s trial.”

She frowned at him. “You said you would stop after you found out the verdict. You said you would accept it if it was guilty. Simon accepted it.”

“It wasn’t guilty!” Raphael snapped. “It was goddamn fucking innocent.”

Lily stared at him in horror. “He’s going away for nothing.”

“He’s not going away, Lily. Not on my watch. Now, go get everything you can find on the trial because I’m going to find a way to invalidate that fucking deal.”

“On it.”

* * *

Simon was in Raphael’s condo, waiting for him. Half of him was afraid he wouldn't show and they wouldn't be able to spend the three days Simon had left together. And the other half of him didn’t know what to feel.

Raphael came home after midnight.

“What are you doing here?” He asked Simon.

Simon stood up. “I want to talk.”

He handed Raphael a drink.

“Me too. We can still call Gibbs.” Raphael said, accepting the glass.

“I am not calling Gibbs, Raphael.” Simon said tiredly. “That ship has sailed.”

“The hell it has!” Raphael yelled. “Everything that happened is on me! You’re going to prison because of me.”

“No! I am going to prison because of myself, _my_ actions.” Simon yelled back. “I am not going to let you go to prison because of the decisions I’ve made! I made the crime, I have to take responsibility for it.”

“And I’m not going to let you go to prison when you were found innocent!”

Simon blinked. “What?”

“I lied. The verdict was not guilty.”

“What?” Simon asked again. “Why would you lie to me?”

“Because it would have torn you apart.”

“Oh, so now you want to tear me apart?”

“Because this is the only way you’ll let me take the hit.”

“You know what, Raphael? I’m done talking about this.” Simon said and pushed Raphael aside, making his way out of Raphael’s condo.

Raphael threw his glass. It hit the cupboards and smashed. Simon ducked and slowly turned around.

“You want to go to prison?” Raphael shouted. “First rule, never turn your back on anyone.”

“I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work.”

“I’m not trying to take your place. I’m trying to get you ready for prison because you’re weak.” Raphael said walking towards him.

“I am not weak.” Simon protested.

“You are, Simon. You can’t handle prison.” He got into Simon’s face. “You won’t last a week.”

“I can handle it.”

“Well,” Raphael pushed his shoulder, “hit me then.”

“No.”

He shoved Simon with both hands. “Hit me.”

“Raphael, stop it!”

“Listen to me.”

“No! You listen to me!” Simon yelled over Raphael’s voice. “I know you feel guilty for everything that’s happened but I am not going to hit you!”

Raphael scoffed. “You’re still the same pathetic pothead I met five years ago.”

“Raphael, stop it.”

“You couldn’t even turn your life around when I gave you the chance.” Raphael spat. “I wasted five years of my life on a useless little shit who refuses to get over the fact that his parents—”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence because Simon’s fist was colliding with his face.

“Is this what you want?” Simon shouted, punching him in the stomach. “Do you want me to tell you that I hate you?” A punch to the jaw. “That you made me do this? That I’m in this position because of you?” A knee to the stomach. “That I’m going to prison and it’s all thanks to you?”

He pushed Raphael to the floor and dropped to the ground. He shut his eyes and buried his face into his hands, and finally let himself cry. Everything that he’d bottled up over the past couple of months was letting themselves go.

He'd managed to keep his composure until tonight. He hadn't cried up until now and it was all because of Raphael. If he didn't make Simon hit him, maybe he would have been fine. Maybe he wouldn't be here crying into his hands about something he brought upon himself.

Simon couldn’t stop the tears even if he wanted to.

“Simon, please, let’s call Gibbs.” Raphael said softly.

He looked up and wiped away at his face. “I c—can’t, Raphael.”

“Simon…”

“Stop, Raphael.” Simon sighed. “You’re not okay with me taking the fall, how do you think I’ll feel if I let you do it?”

“That’s different.” Raphael argued.

“How?”

“You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. I’ve had my run.”

He looked at Raphael. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re my life? My future?”

The other man didn’t say anything. He just wiped away the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

“How do you think I feel knowing you’re going to jail for nothing?” Raphael asked after a few beats.

“It’s not for nothing. I did commit a crime.”

“I’ve done worse than you and I made you take the job.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, Raph.” Simon said quietly. “I _chose_ to lie. I _chose_ to work with no degree.”

“But I hired you. Simon, let me.”

Simon dragged himself across the floor so he could be closer to Raphael. He took the other man’s head in his hands and forced him to look into his eyes.

“That’s enough, Raph.” Simon said crossly. “We are done talking about this. I am going to prison and there isn’t shit you can do about it.”

“Simon…”

“Enough.” He said more firmly this time.

He leaned in and kissed Raphael’s forehead. He let his lips linger for several moments before he pulled away.

“We only have two days left. Are you going to spend it arguing with me or having sex with me?”

Raphael cracked the first tiny small Simon’s seen in months and pulled Simon into his arms. He finally let himself relax into Raphael's body. He let out a breath he'd been holding in for months and climbed into Raphael's lap. He hugged the other man tightly and wished he could never let go. 

But that wasn't going to happen.

He'd have to let go eventually or they'd come after him.

“Sorry about your face, by the way.” Simon murmured. “But you did deserve it. Bringing up my parents was a lowball.”

Raphael rubbed his back. “I know and I’m glad because it lets me know you have it in you. I’m sorry about your parents.”

* * *

They spend the next two days in bed.

They were having breakfast on the day Simon was going away when he asked, “are you going to wait for me?”

Raphael stopped sipping his coffee and looked at him. “I waited three and a half years for you. What’s another two?”

Simon got up from his stool and hugged Raphael’s waist from the back. Raphael put down his coffee mug and intertwined his fingers with Simon’s.

“I love you.” Simon whispered. “I hope you know that.”

Raphael tightened his fingers around the other man’s. “I know. And I do, too.”

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, neither of them wanting to let the other go.

"What do you say about running away?" Raphael asked. "I can get us on the first flight out of here. Just say so."

Simon shook his head. "Then we'll never be able to come back here."

"Would that be so bad? We have each other, who else do we need?"

"Isabelle, Clary, Lily, Alec, Magnus, Lydia, Stan, Jace, and almost everyone else at the office." Simon said. "They're _family_ , Raphael. They fought hard for me. We can't just leave them in the wind knowing more than half of our, I mean, your clients will fire your firm."

"They'll be fine without me."

"They won't and you know it. Jace will fuck everything up."

Raphael let out a small chuckle. "You're right about that, I guess."

Simon kissed the side of his neck and let go.

“Time to go put on an orange suit.” Simon said, attempting to smile but it falls flat.

Raphael managed a weak smirk. “It will really bring out your eyes.”

Simon went into the room to get changed while Raphael waited for him. Once he was done they left the building and Raphael drove them to the prison. They both got out and stood in front of the doors, looking up at the facility.

“Stop thinking about it, Raphael.” Simon said. “It’s not your fault. I convinced you to hire me.”

“And I was the one who made the call.”

“That doesn’t matter because, even knowing how it all turned out, I’d do it again.”

Raphael turned to look at him. “I would too because I never thought someone would be stupid enough to go to prison for me.”

Simon smiled. “Well, Lily always said you were looking for another you. I guess you found one.”

Raphael rolled his eyes but even he was smiling slightly.

They were silent. Both of them contemplating how to say goodbye without making it hurt.

But it would hurt anyway.

Watching the person you love most in the world go to prison wasn't easy, and it never will be.

As for Simon, it wasn't easy seeing the look in Raphael's eyes, knowing he put that look there.

“Looks like it’s time to bring out the colour of my eyes.” Simon finally said, moving away from the car.

He turned and faced Raphael.

“Watch your back in there, Simon.”

Simon swallowed. “I will.”

They didn't hug or kiss or say anything. 

Raphael just gave him a small nod and Simon walked away and into the prison.

Raphael straightened and watched him go, his heart slicing in two.

He knew it was going to be hard. He knew this was a possibility when Gibbs came after them and he prepared himself for it but he didn't know he would feel like this.

Like _shit_.

Like _complete and utter shit_.

He didn't know it was going to hurt so bad. 

Clearly, he hadn't prepared enough.

But how could he when it was  _Simon_ who was getting locked up? The kid who came into his life and turned it upside down. The same kid who made him  _care_ and smile.

Everyone said Simon was like another him. Loyal, thinking on his feet, taking no one's bullshit, and just being fucking smart but Raphael disagreed with all of them.

Simon wasn't another Raphael.

In actuality, Raphael had turned more into Simon.

He stopped helping the one's who made him a lot of money and instead started helping the ones who had no chance of winning with any other lawyer. He started caring about people and stopped hurting their feelings, as much.

No one called him Raphael The Shark anymore.

He was a new person because of Simon and he thanked his lucky starts for bringing the kid into his life because without him, Raphael wouldn't be who he is today.

And if he had to go back to the time where he had to decide on hiring Simon, he would do it a hundred times over.

Because having Simon go to prison for two years and waiting for him was better than having no Simon in his life at all.

"Come home soon, rookie."

**Author's Note:**

> suits is amazing and this finale was amazing. it broke me into pieces and i hate it for doing that to me.  
> i recommend watching the show, though. it truly is amazing. the acting and plot and strong women and poc.
> 
> thanks for reading! even if some parts had you confused lol bc i didnt go into detail. i didn't want this to be longer than 2k but of course nothing goes my way bc this extended 2k smh.


End file.
